Name Calling
by kuraiibu
Summary: Sanji gets schooled by Zoro at the dinner table, and he storms off trying to find new ways to name call Zoro. He goes to the Crow's Nest to find a diverse amount of books, so he decides to try to find something to call Zoro, but things get crazy really fast. ZoroxSanji If ya don't like it, then don't read please! This IS A WARNING!


I do NOT own One Piece.

BoyxBoy, yaoi, gay, whatever else you wanna call it.

ZoroxSanji

This was a quick story, so there may be mistakes and it may be too forward, but nonetheless, Enjoy~

* * *

Sanji opened the door to the kitchen. "Alright, food is ready!"

Luffy jumped through first almost hitting Sanji, he of course dodged the careless moron. The ladies traveled in soon after letting Sanji swoon over them. Brook and Franky squeezed in next to each other discussing the importance of how a stage is constructed for a wonderful concert and Chopper tagged along quietly. Usopp lingered behind almost stupor in some kind of "plant" book. Sanji grew aware of it, somewhat curious, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for Usopp. He almost closed the door growing weary of how long the food would last with Luffy in there devouring all of it, but he stopped dead in his tracks knowing that, that stupid Marimo hadn't entered, yet. He lit up a cigarette walking around desultory having no clue as to where the green hair had wandered off this time.

He nearly passed up some really pretty green plants that Nami or Usopp must have been nursing, when he noticed an ugly looking one and bent down getting startled out of his mind when he noticed it was the green idiot. He bent down getting a closer look at the ugly Marimo's face sleeping so grotesquely. The green haired idiot's mouth wide open and his snoring absurdly vociferous made Sanji commemorate himself for detesting this nitwit, but something about his appearance was so beguiling to a certain extent.

The Marimo opened his eyes wanting to yawn, but saw this perverted cook staring right at him with a prodigious expression, "What d'ya want?"

Sanji nearly jumped out of his mind taking a few feet back and standing lanky. He took a puff of his cigarette and blinked various times to obliterate random thoughts, "The food's ready, if you're hungry, that is."

With that, he just walked away back to the kitchen in somewhat of a rush due to the fact he left Luffy to eat for far too long. Hopefully Nami had stopped the rubber idiot. He felt Zoro promenading along behind him, and a powerful gaze to his own back. He felt his own back melting from the omnipotent rubbernecking. He wanted to shiver at the feeling, but that would be way too easy to give in to Zoro as such.

He opened the kitchen door barely leaving it open for enough time for Zoro to intrude nearly right after him. Sanji sighed in relief to see that not all of the food had been ate, which he gave a curtesy smile to Nami which he was sure that she had helped him. He went to go sit down, but oddly enough, Usopp had taken his normal seat off to the side, which left him to sit next to the idiot himself, Zoro. The moss-head could see it on Sanji's face that he was not very pleased with the seating arrangement, so he decided to start a little war.

"Something wrong, ero-cook?"

Sanji's lip twitched, and he had to hold back a disturbing eagle eye, "Obviously it's the fact that I have to sit by your ugly face. It's too much for me. I might as well not even eat."

Zoro almost took a step back from the blondie's words, "Fine by me, tow-head."

Sanji gawked, he had never heard Zoro call him that before nor had he ever heard anyone use that term before, he was really confused yet appalled.

Zoro went ahead and sat down pretending that he didn't even notice Sanji.

"What the hell, you frickin' Marimo," He stood up arching over Zoro, "You weirdo moss-head!"

"Is that all you can come up with, if you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart, otherwise, you're just an ass," Zoro smirked slightly.

Sanji looked around bewildered, his crewmates were staring, but not too much interested in the conversation, yet he was embarrassed as all get at. He dropped his head and quickly escorted himself out of the kitchen and into the crow's nest with lightning speed.

He inhaled the cancer into his lungs as he sat in the crow's nest trying to figure out how to get back at that marimo. He was just running out of ideas to use. There was only so much green in his life that he highly disliked, including Zoro. He laid back looking up at the ceiling surrounded by all these books. Robin and Usopp always had a book to read, even though their tastes were completely different, but it was just something that they both liked to do. Usopp had an interesting one today about plants.

Sanji knew he could probably create a recipe with some of the plants inside that book. It wouldn't be half bad to read that particular one just for that purpose. It's not like he didn't read books that were cooking related, he just didn't do it as often as one would think. He had knowledge of so many items he could use, coming up with a recipe was left to his head and his hands just had to prepare the delicious entrees. Sometimes, things didn't turn out how he liked, but that was something to be fixed easily in the next batch.

He opened his eyes abruptly realizing something. He could find insults to say to Zoro in one of the plant books. He was sure that some of the plants would be so ugly, it would be offensive. He jumped up searching through many books trying to find one to his interest. Robin had it so organized in here, it wasn't too hard to find books about plants. He started reading the titles of each one and coincidentally enough, there was one titled, "The Ugliest Plants in the World". Sanji had to smirk and quickly removed it leaving a small hole in the wide selection of books. It felt peculiarly satisfying. He plopped back down on to the couch getting comfortable, letting his feet dangle off to the side and laying on his back. He lifted the book up and opened it carefully.

He smiled seeing that there were definitely some very ugly plants in this book just by the pictures. He flipped the page and the first plant had him nearly dying with laughter. It looked more like a tree, but the way it spread out and lifted high into the air made Sanji laugh. It was too much like Zoro, and he had to just take a moment to look at all of it and its glory.

"The Bradford Pear," He giggled, but knew that the idiot wouldn't understand, but he giggled anyway.

"Caratodon Moss," He smirked seeing as this one looked so parallel to Zoro's own hair. He moved to his side getting comfy flipping through the pages. He laughed and squirmed because some were so funny.

Eventually, he drifted off into sleep. His arm fell, and the book dropped to the floor. He had been staring at many different types of plants for hours, and thinking about that idiot all night. His dreams were pure green.

Zoro opened up the crow's nest, yawning. He had almost forgot he was on watch tonight, which he enjoyed for the most part. It was peaceful, and the sound of the ocean, and the smell of the books weren't too bad. It always made him feel in tranquility giving him peace of mind. It was always good to sit and close his eyes listening to the calmness of the sea beneath him, but tonight didn't look like it was going to be one of those nights. He peered across the room to see that damn cook laying down on the couch.

He moved in closer noticing the cook was actually asleep. It had been the first time Zoro had seen the cook in the crow's nest asleep. It made his heart jump slightly, and he ignored the sign. He crouched down studying the ero's features. He didn't really mind the cook as long as he wasn't talking. Zoro smirked gently peering downwards at the book on the ground.

'The Ugliest Plants in the World," He smiled wider and almost started to laugh, "You are very serious about this."

Zoro sat down starting to read the page Sanji had left off on, "Cushion Moss."

"This wouldn't be an insult at all," Zoro looked up getting closer into Sanji's face looking at his brows.

"Here's a new one already," He whispered, "Grub Brow-augh."

Sanji had reached out silently and grabbed Zoro by the neck pulling him in. Zoro almost reacted out of instinct, but realized the stupid cook was still asleep. He didn't want to wake the idiot up, but this position was really compromising. Zoro's head rested against Sanji's cheek, and his face was met with Sanji's neck. The ero-cook's heart beat was calm and somewhat relaxing to hear. Maybe it was just because Zoro didn't really think the idiot was human.

Zoro gave a small sigh, and nothing more than to be chugging a bottle of sake down right now, but for whatever reason, this was actually giving him slight tingles on his body. He had never been this close to the cook without almost attacking him. It was something new to him, and he wasn't sure what the slight speed of his heart rate and warmth to his skin meant. Sanji tried rolling around, but ended up convoluting right off into the floor, but Zoro reacted and made the fall as quiet and painless as possible for Sanji even though he'd love nothing more than the idiot to wake up.

Zoro laid there underneath Sanji for a good bit trying his damned hardest not to move because the idiot's knee pressed ever so gently against Zoro's crotch. It was something he wasn't mentally prepared for tonight. He hadn't had anybody touch anywhere near there in a very, very long time, and he definitely didn't have a damn man there. To make things worse, Sanji's face was nuzzled up against his ear and he was lightly breathing on and into it. It made Zoro want to shiver and made him terribly uncomfortable.

"Mmmnn," Sanji stirred and started to feel around growing aware of just what kind of position he was in before even opening his eyes.

He smelled the intenseness of the marimo and the slight touch of the idiot's face was all it took. He lifted up feeling his knee grind against something very disgusting. He gasped wanting to look down in distaste yet his eyes were fixated on the green-haired moron who seemed unphased by all these events. Sanji cleared his throat wanting to start screaming like some insane girl, but he didn't.

"What the frickin' hell is going on," Sanji yelled and whispered at the same time.

"Long story short, you're very touchy feely in your sleep," Zoro blinked nonchalantly, but he really wanted Sanji to remove his leg from in between his own.

Sanji tried grasping the situation, but he didn't understand at all. How could he end up in such an embarrassing situation? With the stupid marimo of all people. His hand moved instinctively over his mouth, and a wild blush appeared. He didn't want to feel so vulnerable, but something about this new feeling of seeing Zoro beneath him overwhelmed his senses. Zoro blinked a couple times not understanding why he thought such a face made by Sanji was so cute.

"You're blushing," Zoro questioned.

"Idiot," He burst out trying to move but ended up scraping against Zoro's growing erection, "D-Don't get excited over this, you gay pervert!"

Sanji did his best to move away, but he was obviously getting turned on to which brought out feelings he never thought he would have for a man, and it was so damn confusing. He hunched over on the other side of Zoro still sitting on the ground doing his best to hide his growing feelings. He was too embarrassed to speak, and definitely too embarrassed to even look up.

Zoro lifted up taking in the heat of the situation. Their pheromones were overtaking this room, and he hadn't had this kind of feeling for a very long time. He figured that's why Sanji looked so edible right now, so he took his chance and attacked.

Before Sanji even knew what was going on, he was on the ground being squished under Zoro's weight. He wanted to protest, but Zoro pressed his leg up against Sanji's hard-on and kissed his pale neck lightly. Sanji mewled at this feeling having no idea why he was being so submissive. Zoro's hands worked Sanji's buttons open before he just gave up and ripped the garment open.

That time, Sanji had something to stay, "Bastard, I loved that suit," He growled into Zoro's ear biting down intensely.

Zoro gasped at the feeling. This was such a new feeling, and Sanji played along so perfectly.

"I would say I'd buy you a new one, but I don't have any money, and I really don't care," Zoro slid his warm hands underneath what little fabric was left of Sanji's undershirt. Taking in the softness of his skin giving light kisses all the way down Sanji's neck and onto his chest. Zoro saw his little pink buds going ahead and nipping at them lightly feeling himself jump in excitement when Sanji's little gasps escaped those soft pink lips. Zoro latched on to one of them sucking intensely on it giving a small hickey onto Sanji's nipple. Sanji bucked up into thin air really wanting some friction at this point. His gasps growing tired, and he needed release soon. Zoro kissed down Sanji's belly trying to unbutton his and Sanji's pants. This time, being successful without actually ripping anything, Zoro saw the wetness forming in Sanji's underwear. At this point, he thought he would be too freaked out and have to stop, but his pheromones were overwhelming and he lapped at the watness feeling his tongue slip against the head of Sanji's cock. Sanji moaned out and bucked upwards. Zoro was enjoying every second of this.

He lapped one more time before sticking his mouth over the wetness letting Sanji's tip protrude his mouth. Sanji whimpered trying to silence his own moans by biting down onto his knuckles never thinking being with Zoro felt this good, better yet being with any man could feel this good. Zoro sucked on the tip only for a couple minutes before getting way too excited and ripping the underwear down seeing Sanji's cock flop out and hang to the side, but it was fully erect. It wasn't small, but it wasn't abnormally large from the kind of cock's that Zoro had seen other than his own. There weren't too many.

All Zoro knew, was that he, for some really strange reason, wanted to take Sanji's full cock into his mouth and that's just what he did even though this was completely against his own morals, yet even he had morals. With a loud slurp, his mouth engulfed every bit. It burned slightly in the back of his throat, but nothing he couldn't handle. His own cock tingled for attention, so he began to stroke it through his underwear. Sanji was moaning loudly by this point as Zoro sucked profoundly at the blondie's dick. Sanji began to thrust upward into Zoro's mouth quivering at the feeling of his hot mouth. This was the first time Sanji had felt such immense tingles from being inside someone's mouth before and it gave him such pleasure, he knew he wouldn't last very long, but this was the marimo for fuck's sake, and he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it, if he came too quickly.

He calmed down and started nudging in and out out motion hearing Zoro hum in approval causing such a vibration to Sanji's cock, "nnhaa, you feel too good….Zzoorooo," Sanji felt his seed explode into the Marimo's mouth and he twitched immensely before laying down on to the flooring of the crow's nest breathing heavily. Zoro stayed still for a couple of moments before gulping all of Sanji's liquid.

It just made Sanji blush even more, "Damn, Cook, I didn't think you'd taste so damn good," Zoro slid forward laying against Sanji, and he could feel a monster laying against his leg.

"M-Marimo," Sanji muttered and Zoro lifted up slightly.

"Mmmn," he said peering at Sanji with lusty eyes, yet Sanji peeked at a little hole between their bodies gandering intensely at Zoro's cock.

He thought if he actually saw it, it would scare him away, but unusually, he became hard again and wanted nothing more than to devour it.

"My turn," He flipped the tables hovering over Zoro once more. This time, though, much moe confident.

He was still riding his high slightly, but his senses were not coming through. He thought for sure that after getting some of the stress relief from this bone head, he would definitely throw off the situation and run, but he wanted to take Zoro's, a man's, cock into his mouth and suck the hell out of it. It was so weird to even think about, but he really, really wanted it right now. He wasted no time, and slid down taking the huge monster into his hand grasping it roughly. It was slick with precum and soft and hard at the same time. It felt different than his own, but he knew what to do. He slid his hand around it, and let his tongue reach out and lick up the shaft all the way, slowly, to the tip. By this time, Zoro was on his elbows watching, fascinated by the cook's motivation.

Zoro's mouth parted as he watched the cook slide his tongue all the way up his shaft. He observed as the cook opened wide and engulfed his cock ever so slowly. It was antagonizing to view, yet felt so good. The cook knew how to work his tongue as it slid all over his cock wetting it to the very core inside his hot warmth. Zoro groaned and threw his head back as he hit the back of the cook's mouth. He bucked upwards wanting more, and the cook choked at the unexpected thrust. He pulled away immediately coughing slightly.

"Damnit, Marimo," Sanji growled, "Ya need to let me know if you're gonna thrust so suddenly.

"Mmmn," Zoro hummed, "Get back down there and finish me off."

Sanji stopped in his tracks listening to how his heart beat rapidly looking down at this sexy body in front of him. What had he been missing this whole time? He rumbled and attacked Zoro's length once more, but this time taking all the he could while circling his tongue around inside his mouth around Zoro's cock while pumping both his hands up and down on the bottom half of Zoro's shaft along with his mouth wanting to drain Zoro for all he was worth.

Zoro gasped clenching his teeth tightly. The ero-cook wasn't playing around. This was too much even for Zoro. The tight wetness of Sanji's mouth all the way to how glistening he looked while sucking Zoro off was a massive turn on that Zoro couldn't believe was happening. He grabbed onto Sanji's head and started assaulting Sanji's mouth aggressively. It felt oh so good, and Sanji let his hands hit the floor as Zoro started driving his cock deeper and faster into Sanji's throat.

"Angh, yes, take my fucking cock, Cook," Zoro growled, "Fuck, I'm going to cum, S-Sanji!"

With his final words, he let his milt fill Sanji's mouth. Letting go of Sanji's hair, his knuckles were sore and he laid back letting his high ride off noticing that Sanji had came once more all over his stomach. They were both a panting mess, and neither wanted to look at one another. Sanji was embarrassed that he had cum just by sucking Zoro off, and both were growing conscious that their actions caused.

Zoro lifted up into a sitting position, and Sanji started to grab what was left of his clothing items, sliding his pants on quickly. He cleared his throat wanting to say something, but the words weren't coming out. He promptly left the crow's nest leaving Zoro alone with his own thoughts. He didn't know he felt this way…and he knew that Sanji wouldn't ever let that happen again. Zoro knew that Sanji was a ladies man at heart, and he was just wanting to get some stress relief and their emotions were jumbled and the pheromones were too high.

Zoro knew that, but he couldn't cure the aching in his heart.

* * *

Sanji woke up the next morning feeling heavy hearted, but his body felt so fresh. He really needed that release, but this isn't something that he ever figured himself doing. His mind played Zoro's inviting body lying under him over and over, the feeling of Zoro's provocative scent filling his nose, Zoro's vibrating cock stuffing his mouth, Zoro's muscles flexing with every twist of the tongue…It was so hot.

"What's hot, Sanji," Nami walked into the kitchen.

Sanji turned still in a daze accidentally moving the skillet towards Nami scraping her arm.

"YeOUCH, Sanji," She screamed jumping back, "What the hell," She held her arm.

Sanji snapped out of the daze quickly placing the skillet down running over to Nami, "Nami, I-I'm sorry my Nami-Swan!"

He swiftly took her arm looking at the burn. Coincidentally, Chopper had walked in and took her to the infirmary after much apologies from Sanji. She kept stating, "it's fine, it's okay."

He still felt horrible, though. He peered over seeing that Zoro was outside lifting weights. He walked over to the window dropping to his knees beginning to already pant and grow hot all over. Zoro's muscles quivered under the heaviness of the weights. There was sweat dripping down his body going to places Sanji has already felt and explored.

He shook his head feeling his cock press against his suit. He was so hard just from one night with Zoro. His body was overreacting. It was just to release his stress. He didn't actually feel anything towards Zoro. His priority should be the ladies and nurturing them, not hurting them, but his body didn't lie. Zoro turned him on, and there were things that needed to be discussed. Maybe…

Just maybe he could be with, Zoro. No, nonononono, he was straight, right? How could he be straight, though, if they did that last night and it felt oh so good. Before he knew what his body was doing, he was next to Zoro lighting up a cigarette.

"We need to talk," Sanji spoke lowly, "Caratodon."

Zoro blinked piecing things together, "Are you trying to insult me?"

Sanji started to blush, 'Of course, you idiot moss-head!"

He started to laugh, "I-I can't take you seriously," He laughed heartily and Sanji couldn't take it anymore.

"Dumb ass," He took ahold of Zoro's shoulder's throwing his cigarette away while pulling him towards him gliding his fingers around Zoro's chin and pulling their mouths together.

 _If there isn't a spark, then I'll stop, if there's a spark, I'll continue._

Zoro was shocked, but he melted into the kiss, opening Sanji's mouth up. He wrapped his arms around the slender male pushing their bodies together feeling the ero-cook's boner. He grunted into the kiss darting his tongue in and out letting their lips merge together. Their kiss lasted for almost 2 minutes before Sanji finally pulled away craving for air and for more. He was a dog in heat wanting all of Zoro's attention.

Zoro knew that there were things about him and Sanji that were abnormal, but this was something completely different that he never expected. Sanji's every being made Zoro so drunk, and he wanted every bit of it. He just now realized.

"Zorrro," He rolled the R sliding his hands all over Zoro's body getting a hot tingly feeling creep into his every being, "I need you."

Zoro felt paralyzed, and he was instantly hard, "You damn Cook, you have me hooked."

Sanji didn't speak and started licking and biting Zoro's earlobe lightly breathing in. Zoro stumbled backwards onto one of the Sunny's benches letting Sanji slide on top of him.

"Kiss me, Zoro," Sanji whispered grinding against Zoro over and over.

Zoro responded immediately smashing their lips together once more. They might not have said too much about their feelings, but their bodies spoke a thousand words. This was going to be an interesting adventure.

* * *

After Story:

Sanji turned the corner touching his lips softly. They were swollen and for some reason, he loved every moment of it. He peered up to see Nami rubbing her arm. He jumped in front of her, "Nami-Swan, I'm so dearly sorry!"

He took her soft arm into his hand looking at the small burn, "It must hurt so much, my dear Nami-Swan."

She looked up and smiled, "It happens, Sanji-kun.'

His heart melted, "Nami-Swannnn~~"

But what he didn't know that Zoro was right there watching. Zoro's eye twitched. _Don't get mad, Zoro. He-He is with me…_

Zoro turned around and Sanji caught a glimpse of him. He gave Nami a quick goodbye and jotted towards Zoro.

"Hey," Sanji touched Zoro's shoulder getting shocked when Zoro threw it off and turned to him wild eyed.

"W-What's wrong," Sanji's heart stalled when he started getting strange thoughts.

 _What if Zoro doesn't want to continue us._

"Don't talk to me, right now," Zoro growled.

Sanji narrowed his eyes, "No, you're going to tell me what's wrong, you bastard."

Zoro turned to him, "I know that I'm not that good at relieving your stress, but don't play my fucking feelings ero-fucking-cook!"

"I'm not fucking playing your feelings," Sanji stepped forward, "If anything, you're playing around with me!"

"How the fuck am I playing you," Zoro stepped forward as well, "I literally pour my fucking heart out to you while we-"

Zoro stepped off as Usopp turned the corner reading a book, "Get the fuck out of her Usopp," They both said in unison.

Usopp scrambled out of there quickly.

Sanji lit a cigarette, "This is why we need to talk. You're misunderstanding me," he took a drag, "I really want to try out you and me! Do you not understand that through all the grass growing out of your moss head?!"

"You don't understand me then cook. I want every part of you! I want to devour every last bit of you from head to toe! You're intoxicating me constantly! I feel like I'm drunk with your every being! Fuck, you're the dense one here tow-head!"

Sanji stepped closer finally letting his hand press against Zoro's heart. Both of their hearts beat so fast, and he made Zoro press his against his own, "Your cheesy as hell, but let's fucking try this out."

"Then I have a request," Zoro spoke lowly, "Don't flirt with Nami or Robin."

Zoro averted his gaze trying not to show any emotion, "I-Is this what this is all about? You're jealous already!?"

Zoro's eyes darted upwards, "O-Of course not, idiot! I don't get jealous!"

Sanji covered his mouth trying not to laugh, "You're too cute, you fool!"

Sanji pressed forward and kissed Zoro quickly, "I'll dom y best not to "flirt", okay?"

The Marimo snorted, "Whatever."

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Hope ya enjoyed it!


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